So tired

In case anyone is wondering, the reason the blog has gone quiet is the same reason I’m up at 1am. My 6 month old daughter is wailing like a banshee, same as she has been every night for weeks now. I’m having to type one handed while rocking her. I’m so exhausted that writing more than a paragraph is tough, plus my wrists and upper back are in excruciating pain from all the rocking/bouncing. So this blog is on a break until I am able to dedicate some time/energy to it again. Frustrating as I have so much I want to write about.


I am still on Twitter though as I can just about manage 140 characters at a time. Find me on @MurderOfGoths

“Look at her, how dare she let us look at her!”

I’ve just taken a break from playing my recent Steam/GOG purchases and stopped clock watching for the new flash deals to write about sexism and gaming.

For starters it was stupid that I felt the need to add the above sentence, if I was a male gamer writing about the games industry would I feel the need to start by “proving” I was a gamer? Probably not. Nevertheless, even with the above sentence I’m sure I’ll be accused of faking it to be “cool”, or just being a casual gamer, or just lying for the hell of it, maybe I’m a feminist infiltrator? The chances of these accusations rise even further if I were to appear dressed up, especially in something revealing, because boobs obviously interfere in gaming.

For the record, I won’t be.

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Women only spaces – Give and take

I’ve been a little reluctant to post this as it’s an argument I can actually see both sides of, and both sides seem quite vehemently opposed.

On the one side you have the trans activists who, quite rightly and deservedly, are fighting for equality in a world that still treats them like something out of a circus freakshow. I can’t even begin to imagine what life must be like for them, and wouldn’t even begin to try, that would be patronising and unnecessary.

On the other you have the feminists who, quite rightly and deservedly, are fighting for equality in a world where women are still disproportionately at risk of violence. Here I can imagine, because I’ve lived that life for my whole life. Like every woman I know that I have to take all kinds of precautions that men will never have to take in order to try and protect myself, and I also know that those precautions will never remove risk entirely.

I hope I don’t need to say this, but anyway, in the blog post that follows please be aware that when I say “feminists” or “trans activists” I am not referring to absolutely all people within these categories, I am speaking about some of them.

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“I am a poser and I don’t care, I like to make people stare”

A slightly silly start to this blog post, but I do love this song and it is kind of what I wanted to talk about.

As my blog title suggests I’m a little bit of a goth (unless you are totally unaware of it being a play on “murder of crows” and are one of the odd breed who think it means I want to kill goths), and so no stranger to standing out in a crowd, or at least, that’s how I used to be.
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Disability and female weakness

Quick recap for anyone who hasn’t read my blog previously, I suffer from a chronic pain problem which has left me severely limited.

Before the pain started this was me.. I was fairly slim, very girlie looking, and a very petite 4’10″. I was very often treated as a dainty little doll-like thing who needed protection and big strong men to help me. I hated the patronising comments, the assumption that I was too weak and delicate to do hard physical work. Especially as a lot of the time I could lift more and do more than some of the supposed “big strong men”.

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