A mother who is still not a mother

This post has now moved to here.

Some of you may not have read my previous post on this, if you haven’t then it’s probably best you do so you understand the context of this. What I’m about to write will probably garner me some hatred, but I need to get it out, and maybe it’ll help someone else in the same situation to know they aren’t the only one. I cannot be the only one.

Quick summary, my daughter was born 10 weeks early by emergency caesarean which was done under general anaesthetic. As a consequence I didn’t see her until more than 24 hours after she’d been born, and I couldn’t hold her until she was 3 days old. She then stayed in special care until she was 6 weeks, during which time I had immense trouble bonding with her, most of the time it didn’t feel like she was even mine – after all I hadn’t seen her birth. She’s home now, and it’s harder than I ever imagined.

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One thought on “A mother who is still not a mother

  1. Hev says:

    Your honesty is so brave sweetie. I’m heartbroken for you that you are going through this. I’m here if you need me. I will never judge you. xxx

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