MoG’s April Recap

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Looks like I’ve been busy this April, so thought I’d do a little recap.

I’ve mostly been talking Plus Size it seems.

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Preparing for Samhain

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Some of you may be thinking I’m a little bit early, some more of you may be thinking, “what on earth is Samhain?”

I best start with answering that question. It’s a Pagan festival that happens on the 31st October and it marks the end of the harvest and beginning of Winter. You will also know it as Hallowe’en.

So now all of you are thinking I’m a little bit early. But I’m not..

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The Healthy Fattie

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One of the most commonly used comebacks to fat hatred is to point out how healthy the plus size target is. It’ll get pointed out that they go to the gym, or race, or do some other active hobby. Their diet will be healthy, loads of salads and cooked from scratch stuff.

Which is a fantastic response to the claims that fat always means unhealthy and that being fat instantly makes someone a strain on medical resources. No problems there right?

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The Diet Industry and triggers

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I have to admit, this is a post about a specific conversation. But it got me thinking, and it got me thinking about something that I find tough to think about. So I figured getting it out of my system might stop it circling around in my mind.

You may have read before that I have struggled with disordered eating. I still struggle with the thoughts and still have the same triggers.

I want to talk about some of those. Shouldn’t need saying, but trigger warnings galore here.

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Listening is a valuable skill

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This isn’t about one thing in particular, more a variety of things with one thing in common. Not listening.

I was always taught growing up that being able to speak and make yourself heard was important, I was as painfully shy child so it was something I got told a lot in an attempt to get me talking more. Then over the years I’ve heard so many times that people need to speak up, use their voices, etc.

And this is all hugely important, but completely useless unless people also learn to listen, or we’re all shouting over one another trying to be heard.

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#EDAW2015, #effyourbeautystandards, #spoonieproblems and self hate (TW)

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I don’t get on with my body very much. In fact that’s quite an understatement. And today that self loathing hit me like a sledgehammer. I’ve got a romantic day out with my husband planned, at a spa, we’ll be getting massages and spend time in steam rooms and jacuzzis. It all sounds heavenly. The problem is that I need swimwear now, so I thought I’d pop in to town and pick up a swimsuit. In my excitement about the spa day I forgot just how bad it could be. As I stood in the changing room, listening to the size 8 teen in the next cubicle complain she was too fat and needed to be at least a size 6, and staring at myself in the full length mirror I felt utterly broken.

There I stood, size 20, an overhanging belly, fat dimpled thighs and upper legs, sagging boobs, and massive silver stretchmarks cobwebbing their way across large swathes of my flesh.. I felt disgusting. I wanted to be sick, I wanted to starve, I wanted to binge, I wanted to cut and carve and tear away chunks of flesh. I wanted to physically hurt.

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Honesty, trust, mental health and health care professionals

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Have had a less than positive experience recently with a local hospital, which is a shame because on the whole we’ve always had a lot of help at this particular hospital. And we’ve been there a lot!

But this particular problem is pretty big, and does make me nervous about going back there. Given the health problems my daughter and I have had this is not a good thing.

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