Preparing for Samhain

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Some of you may be thinking I’m a little bit early, some more of you may be thinking, “what on earth is Samhain?”

I best start with answering that question. It’s a Pagan festival that happens on the 31st October and it marks the end of the harvest and beginning of Winter. You will also know it as Hallowe’en.

So now all of you are thinking I’m a little bit early. But I’m not..

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The Diet Industry and triggers

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I have to admit, this is a post about a specific conversation. But it got me thinking, and it got me thinking about something that I find tough to think about. So I figured getting it out of my system might stop it circling around in my mind.

You may have read before that I have struggled with disordered eating. I still struggle with the thoughts and still have the same triggers.

I want to talk about some of those. Shouldn’t need saying, but trigger warnings galore here.

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#DropThePlus and our daughters

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Sorry to be repetitive, but I’ve been reading more on the #DropThePlus campaign and it got me thinking. Lovely as Ajay is, I’m sorry to say the more I think about it the less keen I am on it. Though I agree totally with their desire to make a better world for girls, and applaud them for their attempts, if not their methods.

I suspect this will be a long post.

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#EDAW2015, #effyourbeautystandards, #spoonieproblems and self hate (TW)

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I don’t get on with my body very much. In fact that’s quite an understatement. And today that self loathing hit me like a sledgehammer. I’ve got a romantic day out with my husband planned, at a spa, we’ll be getting massages and spend time in steam rooms and jacuzzis. It all sounds heavenly. The problem is that I need swimwear now, so I thought I’d pop in to town and pick up a swimsuit. In my excitement about the spa day I forgot just how bad it could be. As I stood in the changing room, listening to the size 8 teen in the next cubicle complain she was too fat and needed to be at least a size 6, and staring at myself in the full length mirror I felt utterly broken.

There I stood, size 20, an overhanging belly, fat dimpled thighs and upper legs, sagging boobs, and massive silver stretchmarks cobwebbing their way across large swathes of my flesh.. I felt disgusting. I wanted to be sick, I wanted to starve, I wanted to binge, I wanted to cut and carve and tear away chunks of flesh. I wanted to physically hurt.

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Honesty, trust, mental health and health care professionals

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Have had a less than positive experience recently with a local hospital, which is a shame because on the whole we’ve always had a lot of help at this particular hospital. And we’ve been there a lot!

But this particular problem is pretty big, and does make me nervous about going back there. Given the health problems my daughter and I have had this is not a good thing.

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Looking out for friends with MH issues

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My mental health issues have been talked about a bit on here, so I’ll assume it’s known that I’m not always doing wonderfully.

I have previously used the Samaritans, and have always found them wonderful. When I’m able I do try to donate to them. Fantastic service, more people should support it!

That out of the way, I’m really not sure what I think of #SamaritansRadar.

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Worst things you can say

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About a year ago I put a post up on Mumsnet asking what the worst thing people had heard said related to illness or disability. Unfortunately the thread is no longer there, so I can’t link you to it, but it was an eye opening and fairly horrible read.

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